Back to December
Back to December
Snow falls heavily, from the ashen grey sky
Guilt fill my soul...forcing my heart to lie
The feelings deep within me, you will never know
someone come and save me, from the pain of letting you go....
The days that seemed so warm..all lost in the blizzard's wail
how you stopped calling me at night, or sending me some-mail
you hurt me countless times....
never felt sorry for your crimes...
So tonight, lets end this
seal it off with one last kiss
The tears flow down...without...consent...
I HAVE LOVED YOU TO THIS VERY EXTENT!!!
For now as I watch you walk away
let me think of our most joyful days...
you caused me pain...
so I did the same...
Broken dollsBroken Dolls
I lay here in the wake of eternal darkness
Waiting for your gentle touch
Your pleasant smile fills me with so much happiness
Is it sin, to find happiness as such?
My dearest, tonight let me sing you a song
Of a doll that loved you so
Here in ruins of a broken dream, I've waited for so long
Cherishing memories I will never let go...
The pain that I feel, within this porcelain heart...
It breaks my very being
Feigning bliss, I'm being torn apart
Your presence is my only healing...
I always thought, your love held no cost
That is until you pushed me away...
Your gone forever leaving me cold and lost
Never to know, of what I truly wish to say
My dearest, I only wish for your joy...
Such feelings unbefitting of a toy
Yet here I am living in this very moment...
Your absence alone brings me unrelenting torment
The years go by and you've lived on without me...
My dearests...please come back...
I'm breaking away with time...do you not see?
Only you can fill the emp
Oh how I dream, to feel the light
of the sun so far away
the beauty of it would be such a sight
to a wretch whose path gone stray
Your world so pure, an innocent white
it mocks my putrid soul
reminding me of my worthless life
its black....so black, like coal
Its within your light I see the dark
the dark of my own being
the end's beginning, be the moons own mark
that blinds me from truth,worth seeing
Echoes of breaking glass ripples through the night
Ruins of the fallen loved one
I no longer know of what is right
tell me have you forgotten someone?
Cold...HellPacing through a labyrinth
of unending snow
thoughts frozen by time,
to where shall I go...
Shadows of the fallen,
their torment, their wrath
faltering my journey
towards salvation's path..
I dread their very grasp..
their touch so bitter cold
their desire to break free
my limbs they desperately hold
"FREE US FROM OUR PAIN!!!!"
the pain that they deserve
their cries that echo in vain
the shameful state left for others to observe
The cold ashen grey skies
the blazing storms wail
the place where warmth truly lies
the endless winter hail
The guilt that gathers forth...
in a heap of unfulfilled desire
no words left to even retort
such pain cant compare to hell's fire
Dont leave me...in this endless cold
I wish to see the light
the light that shines on both young and old
and sways at the dawn of night
The lost times that can n
marriage is a flower, that blooms on any day
when emotions begin to tower, and hate is left to stray
it blooms on a wintry dawn, or maybe a summer night
leaving envious to fawn, until the break of light
nurtured by love, the fauna stands tall
pure as a white dove, cool as the autumn fall
love I loathe
You I hate
You I love
prince coming late
blood stained dove
Love lostLove Lost
Days reduced to nothing
Without your gentle presence
Abandoned in unfulfilled longing
Tainted with darkness' essence
The tears I've shed have already dried
Leaving scars to mock my sorrow
Why didn't the world end when you died?
there's no point for something like tomorrow
But life moves on...without a care
As if your death didn't matter
God give me mercy...if you dare...
To mend this heart in the state of tatter
Memories of a faraway past
When the world was bright
To think such happiness wouldn't last
you've taken away my light
Words of sympathy
It pains me to hear
Such gentle cruelty
I feign to hold dear
Condolences break me....
With their lies...like screaming souls
I don't wish to see
The extent of my hearts tolls...
My only salvation is the memory of your face
That slowly begins to fade
you've left without a trace
Whispers of farewells you bade
Don't give me that look!
don't tell me to move on
You don't know how long it took
To accept the fact your gone.....
Dead...I wish to sleep and never wake up
for all theres left is pain
kindness just aint enough
to keep me from going insane
What more can I give to satisfy
those who expect too much?
all my life, ive lived a lie
i break with every touch
I shed tears like theres no tomorrow
yet it comes either way
No pain can compare to my sorrow
self pity, you can say....
why do I hate all there is to life
yet still find time to laugh?
the pain of bearing all the strife
the burden of life's wrath
just leave me in the tainted dark
so I may rot away
the scars of past have left their mark
and broken, ill forever stay
To blame oneself for others pain
your kindness makes me sick
your perfection brings me unrelenting shame
it hurts with every clock's tick
One so happy and lived life with glee
one whose already dead
one whose pain you could not see
one who has gone ahead
Listen to the whispers of the moon
Heed its gentle lullaby
Sleep for light will come very soon
This my child is not a lie
Sleep here in the arms of your mother
For I will keep you warm
Dream of happiness like no other
The healing of all things worn
In dreams, you silently shed tears
Therefore, I wipe them all away
I blow the winds that carry your fears
So in solace you are to stay
Silence the songs of war
Sing but a song of peace
The cries of death from afar
Hush child be at ease...
In this endless darkness
Let us pray for morn's light
That the Gods show kindness
And get us through the night
The bright lights from the outside
Are the remnants of a sinful fire
The cries of those whom have died
Souls ensnared by thorns of brier
The morn of a sunless sky
A desire for freedom
A hypocrite's sugar sweet lie
A cursed kingdom
Her mother's voice like a tainted memory
Its gentle and soothing essence
Was it all but a child's silly fantasy?
A desire for a mother's presence
Her mother y
Thy maiden fair with wings of white
Her songs of eternal mirth
Her presence serene, like a healing light
A vessel of salvations birth
Tis but a sad tale
Of how such maiden came to be
The echo of a broken towns' wail
A banshee who can no longer see
The cruel broken world
She cradled in her arms
To which an abyss she hurled
Where darkness came in swarms
How pitiful was pain
To stand there before her
Coming down like a sudden rain
Faded to no more, but a blur
Her warm crystal tears
That rid the fears away
Could not heal the years
Or the trauma of "that" day
The years she has left
Before the flames of life runs out
Her shawl woven from worn out weft
Her heart ridden from temptations doubt
Her tresses the shade of Lila
To her cheeks like blushing dawn
Her eyes that shined like fuchsia
Leaving mortals to marvel and fawn
To be born at a time of sorrow
When the sky cried tears of red
And the fear of a never coming morrow
Like a vow she proudly said
Leave Me BehindI punished myself today
Because I needed to
The guilt was eating at me
I didn't know what else to do
You say I don't deserve it
But we both know that's not true
The reason is very clear
I deserve it 'cause I hurt you
Even though I'm scared
To let this friendship end
You're better off this way
I don't deserve to be your friend
So you better run away
Before I change my mind
Run away and leave me
Just leave me behind
Your life will be much better
So you better do it now
I won't blame you for it
That is my solemn vow.
My first poemI can hear the voices cry they call out to me. cause they seem to be alone finding what they lost. they just want to be what they could never be. But sometimes the wind flows like a river. When we sing our voice turns full when we're all alone. it's hard to figure out it's shadow form. tears creep. can you hear the voices cry cause we sing alone. Everytime I walk on this road I end up back where I was before. so the wind and voices come,they point to the road which I must go. when I look up at the sky I start to sing but my voice becomes full. when I sing the songs I don't really understand for I will always be alone. I'm going were the winds goes going where the lost one's go. I was a fool for love sent me from high above as all songs do. The voices say don't worry we are here to safegaurd. But I'm losing the love I found crying without a sound. But when you realize you've been loved we sing to the wind.Do you hear the voices cry and weep like I do.
Please we don't want to be alone I
There's a rageThere's a rage building up inside of me,
The problem is I don't remember who I used to be,
I'm being forced to be some-one I'm not
And everything will soon be forgot
I don't bite,
Listen to the lies I say.
I've made a mess everywhere,
People I see always stare,
It's not my problem anyway,
I'm just a lonely anti-social stray.
They try to reason with me,
Always saying I'll soon be free
But I'm more than half insane,
Compared to me Hitler's fucking tame.
Dead WrongYou thought I was broken
But I am intact
You thought my heart shattered
But it's only been cracked
You thought I had fallen
But I am still standing
You thought I was shrinking
But I am expanding
You thought you had trapped me
But I am still free
You thought I lost myself
But I am still me
You thought I was weak
But I'm actually strong
You thought that you knew me
But you were dead wrong
Someday I Will Be FreeI realized
that I am
and always have been
caged, like an animal.
Am I deserving of this?
What fate awaits me
here, in this prison?
Fear, then anger
washes throughout me.
Calmness clears my mind
Where is the key
that can release me?
I found it, but as soon
as I grabbed it,
I dropped it
Now, my only way
is to reach for it-
to try to grasp it once more.
he might see me...
he'll yell, he'll hurt me.
Somehow, I must become
to sneak by and get my key.
Someday, I will get free.
I am a bird in a cage
for now, yet I found my way
to be free and wild
FearToo scared to move
From the seat that I'm in
Too scared to speak,
I'm practically frozen.
Too scared to sleep
'Cause I know I'll soon wake
Too scared to stay up
I might make a mistake
Too scared to cry
Because people might see
And then they will wonder
What's the matter with me?
They'll ask me what's wrong
Prepared to give aid
But I cannot tell them
'Cause I'm too afraid.
Romance's Death Penaltyit wouldn't be romantic if we made love beneath the stars,
because i rather watch them play hide & go seek than please you.
it wouldn't be romantic if you told me i was your everything,
because i don't want to be your lies.
Romantic phrases nor romantic gestures could resurrect my faith,
i just want your ill-tempered jealousy to enslave me.
.:All Good Things:.Having no reason
To continue this existence
She picked up a blade
With no resistence
She thought about
When she once loved
But that person loved another
So aside she was shoved
She was left believing
Love was only an allusion
And all of the betrayal
Left her in confusion
How could something so imaginary
Leaver her in this state
She'd lost her mind
And she made her own fate
With the blade to her wrist
She cried her last tear
She was leaving the world that had
Caused all her fear
While bleeding out slowly
She thought of the feelings her love would no longer extend
And left the the world knowing
All good things come to an end
Drops on the glassDrops on the glass
Every day I walk down the same street,
Always looking for people to meet,
Smiles and joy is All I know,
But now it seems fate will show.
Foolish then Foolish now,
Only then was I asked to bow,
For I had went home ,Where I thought it was safe.
As I walked in the door,
I saw my mother's corpse on the floor,
drenched in blood, shot in the head.
Same for my sister,
Who looked asleep in her bed.
I walk to the window to look around,
when just then I heard a sound.
My father coming to me now,
a loving smile, stained with sin.
He got on one knee and asked me,
"Do you believe in god?"
Before I could answer,
He pulled out his gun,
cocking it back like I knew he would.
Asking one more time ,
while sticking a gun to my head,
looking up to the father i knew as mine.
I smiled and flatly said "No"
So just then like my mother and sister.
My blood became just drops on the glass.
Puzzle PieceEmpty house along the way
Stop for awhile
A feeling of loneliness
Missing piece in a puzzle
Just one glance
Just one moment
Just one wish
That this is actually mine
My missing puzzle piece
Everything comes is just an illusion
This was never mine in the first place
Hoping against faith
That someday somewhere
I'll be able to find
All together the missing pieces
In this messy and crazy puzzle piece.
The BucketA teacher once said to me,
"A life is like a bucket."
I have learned over the years that this is true.
If you give someone a compliment, or say or do anything kind,
You pour an infinitesimal yet meaningful amount of liquid into that person's bucket.
But alas, those who insult
And rip apart hope,
They dip into the bucket, and take out that precious liquid gold.
Once that person runs out, you in turn cause their self-destruction.
You could lead that one innocent person to take their own life away.
Just one little smirk or look of disgust
Could leave them bone dry.
You may think it funny now: to insult and make fun,
But imagine the feeling you'd feel when you see that person's face--
Plastered all over the news.
That nervousness and guilt
Creeping up your spine as you get shivers all over.
It's unbearable, no?
You know you no-handedly helped cause someone's death.
So think before you say something--anything.
If it hurts someone enough,
You could dip into their bucket
And leave it
Midnight CommunionI have removed faith,
placed the void left
behind opposite the
mirror. The ceiling
is a wet dripping-down
towards my existence.
I'm smoldering in the kitchen,
thinking up principles
without have ever lived
a second. I, disgusting
visionlessness, the middle
of the room, but also I'm
the promising space outside.
"With the crown of snow cometh wisdom"
May the years that pass, fall gently like snow
so calm so pure, its what natures best can show
be the memories of past freeze still with time
the beauty resounds like a golden wind chime
may tomorrow bring hope, be what remains of the day
so much has happened, left with nothing to say
though my pain be pitiful, I look up with a smile
as I look back at the problems, overcoming took a while
Be I, proud to stand with a new found faith
of which in past I thought was far too late....